Archive for November 13th, 2011

November 13, 2011

Day One

Bacon Bloody Mary

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I would categorize a booze-infused drink as a food. Besides, this one had a strip of bacon in it.

Bacon makes everything better–but it can’t save a Bloody Mary. I figured I wouldn’t like tomato juice and I was right. Thick and unpalatable. I tried to power through repeated sips, but there was a gagging incident. Luckily, the joint’s fantastic open-faced chicken and gravy sandwich (on a waffle, no less) more than made up for my traumatized taste buds.

November 13, 2011

Just Eat It!

A coworker, mystified by the number of foods I wouldn’t even consider eating, once suggested that I might be a super taster. But if I had an overdeveloped palate, how could I ever put a hot dog in my mouth (which I do frequently) or suck down the burnt dregs of our off-brand office coffee with a smile?

Not a super taster, but maybe super pain in the ass. Anyone who spends time with me runs up against my fanatical finickiness sooner or later. Most folks quickly give over trying to make any sense of my likes and dislikes. It’s all based on a murky set of tenets–illogical and contradictory to the outsider, but so ingrained in my psyche that I can quickly size up and reject a dish without even thinking about it, let alone bringing it anywhere near my lips.

It would exhaust both of us if I tried to spell out every little prohibition and amendment, with clarification and footnotes, in my internal eatiquette book. So here’s the CliffsNotes: I hate out-of-context sweet. Cookies are good; sweet meat is an abomination. Also, over-the-top sweet. The worst culprit is cooked fruit, an obnoxious explosion of flavor with questionable texture. I hate raw cheese. Really, most cheeses are suspect, but I can choke down some melted varieties. I hate anything with a pudding-like texture, including pudding. And that rules out a surprising number of foods.

But with my 40th birthday peeking over the horizon, I’ve decided to rock my boat a little: one new food a day until I join the ranks of the oldsters. A last wild, youthful adventure (if you consider sampling common foods like banana bread or plums a wild adventure).

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