I’m sure I’ve ingested some form of cream cheese over the span of this last year. Frankly, I’m having a bit of trouble remembering everything I’ve eaten. But I know I’ve never, ever had cream cheese on a bagel. Because I always thought that was unnecessarily gross. And I was right. Disturbing texture. Plus, why would I want a weirdly tangy spread when I can have my bagel slathered with dripping, buttery goodness?